Finding Hope in a Documentary

I watched A Year in the Life of JK Rowling yesterday and then I watched it with Greg, Auntie Carol and Lisa so they could see it.

JK Rowling is someone who has achieved tremendous success but what I admire her for is her ability to persevere. She is proof that if you are determined enough and you believe in yourself you can get yourself out of any rut.

She was a single mother on assistance struggling to get by so that she could write this story she felt so compelled to tell. As she said in the documentary she really didn't expect the fairy tale ending. It gives me hope that I may yet find mine.

She is someone I can relate to. She struggles with faith and her belief in herself like I do. She has felt like a fraud just like I have. She also said she is the happiest she has ever been in her life at this moment. I guess that means I'll be middle-aged before I find my fairy tale resolution.

Part of me really believed that leaving Tbay would be my great beginning. In some ways it was.
It did change a lot for me. I found a place where I did feel loved and appreciated. I never felt that at home. I finally felt like I could be me and not what everyone else expected me to be. I have the biggest and most fantastic circle of friends here. It is something I never thought I would ever find. Some days I feel like I've stepped into a sitcom or movie because it just seems to good to be true.

The fact remains that I'm not completely happy. It's somewhat sad that I can't say that I am completely satisfied with my life. Despite the great support I've found here I'm still empty. I still struggle with the same issues and I'm not any closer to finding a resolution.

To hear JK Rowling say that she turned her life around when she wrote Philosopher's Stone made me think that there is still hope for me to do the same. I still might do it and find true happiness. I just wish I knew how.

I feel like I haven't accomplished what I should. The problem is I'm not sure what it is that I haven't done yet. I feel like my previous aspiration to write another play is a loose thread hanging but I don't have an idea of what to write. I also feel like I'm letting many people down by not accomplishing this goal.